The Race to the Bottom

The trade deadline has come and gone, and with it went the entire Pittsburgh Pirates team. The management has decided to bring in the Dunder Mifflin softball team, all the way from Scranton, to finish out the season. Chances are, they won't be any worse than the the Pirates without Kip Wells, Sean Casey, that one guy with the 6.63 ERA. Brian Cashman isn't done yet—he's trying to get waivers to rid the team of Joe Randa and Jeromy Burnitz; only then, flush with cold hard Oliver Perez cash, will he be able to lead the Pittsburgh Children's Show Choir in a rousing rendition of "Big Spender."