Tuesday, July 11, 2006
Meet the Feebles, Part One: The Pittsburgh Pirates
We'll begin with the worst of the bunch, the Pittsburgh Pirates. Only recently have they outdone the Royals (who the Cubs lead by a mere three games, and the Royals are in a league/division where others actually play baseball) and they are at the magic number: 30-60. If things continue apace, they will be a glorious 54-108.
Last night's game showed off the team's gorgeous new stadium, with enthusiastic cheers greeting Jason Bay, the first Pirate outfielder to start since 1993, when he went out onto the field. For one night, Pittsburgh fans could feel as if the Pirates weren't the sad, woeful team that they became this year. Or at least, that's how we outsiders see it, as that's not entirely accurate.
To a casual observer, it may seem as if the Pirates have come out of nowhere to move into the basement, but really, team history has been leading to this moment. For the past fourteen seasons—since that unpleasant, soon-to-be-indicted steroid machine left—the Pirates have posted a losing record. This, in fact, is their second 100+ losing season in five years. I think this is the year that everyone else has just given up expecting anything from them.
Whose fault is it? This is probably a perfect storm of bad upper management, bad management, and players not reaching potential, but I'll go with upper management on this one. I mean, they gave Jeromy Burnitz how much this year?
Will they outdo the 1962 Mets? Most likely not. They'd have to lose 60 of their next 72 games to tie them for the record, and that's unlikely. But hey, never say never. They could lose 62 and set a new standard for suckitude.
Push comes to shove, will they win the basement award? Oh hell yes. The Royals are playing what qualifies for Kansas City as "good "baseball," and for whatever reason, the second half tends to be better for the Cubs, who face the back half with a rehabbed Derek Lee. It's gonna be the Pirates in the sump-pump room.
Last night's game showed off the team's gorgeous new stadium, with enthusiastic cheers greeting Jason Bay, the first Pirate outfielder to start since 1993, when he went out onto the field. For one night, Pittsburgh fans could feel as if the Pirates weren't the sad, woeful team that they became this year. Or at least, that's how we outsiders see it, as that's not entirely accurate.
To a casual observer, it may seem as if the Pirates have come out of nowhere to move into the basement, but really, team history has been leading to this moment. For the past fourteen seasons—since that unpleasant, soon-to-be-indicted steroid machine left—the Pirates have posted a losing record. This, in fact, is their second 100+ losing season in five years. I think this is the year that everyone else has just given up expecting anything from them.
Whose fault is it? This is probably a perfect storm of bad upper management, bad management, and players not reaching potential, but I'll go with upper management on this one. I mean, they gave Jeromy Burnitz how much this year?
Will they outdo the 1962 Mets? Most likely not. They'd have to lose 60 of their next 72 games to tie them for the record, and that's unlikely. But hey, never say never. They could lose 62 and set a new standard for suckitude.
Push comes to shove, will they win the basement award? Oh hell yes. The Royals are playing what qualifies for Kansas City as "good "baseball," and for whatever reason, the second half tends to be better for the Cubs, who face the back half with a rehabbed Derek Lee. It's gonna be the Pirates in the sump-pump room.
